Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
