it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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