Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
