I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
