Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize