then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
