you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So much rum. So many feels.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
