In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
