I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
