I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
