Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No subtext here. People are naked.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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