omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
