I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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