I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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