You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
