I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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