The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
