we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.