am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible