cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
