Nicole vs. Life
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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