part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
