Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
