it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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