Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
