no, he came in my armpit
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
