i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
