she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
