Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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