Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
