Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
