I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
