Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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