he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
