A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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