i think my mom watched the whole time
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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