Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
