I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
