I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
