he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
