I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
