he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
