Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
