im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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