Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
false alarm. still invincible.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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