I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
