Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
