i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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