My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
