So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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