Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
