Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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