are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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