u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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